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Steps to get from constant fighting to an uncontested divorce filing

On Behalf of | Mar 11, 2020 | Divorce |

Many people experience intense dissatisfaction in the final weeks and months of a failing marriage. If you and your ex can barely stand to be in the same room, you might convince yourself that an extended and difficult battle in court may be the only way to end your marriage.

However, while contested divorce filings are common, uncontested divorce filings are also possible. Regardless of how dissatisfied or unhappy you are in your current situation, it is usually possible for divorcing spouses to find common ground and work together for an uncontested divorce filing. 

First, communicate your desire for a low-conflict divorce

If you have already broached the topic of divorce, it will be relatively simple to re-approach the topic and explain to your spouse that you want to minimize the expense and difficulty involved. If you haven’t yet talked about divorce, explaining that you feel like divorce has the best solution but that you want to be as reasonable, fast and affordable as possible can help you get your spouse on the same page.

No one wins when you spend so much time and energy fighting each other that you deplete your marital estate. Although it can be difficult, working together for an uncontested filing often has financial and social benefits for both spouses.

Embrace the fact that you will inevitably continue to parent together

If you share children, the quickest way to make the divorce hard on them is to put your kids in the middle of every argument and to fight over every aspect of the parenting plan. Instead of raging about the fact that you will have to share parental responsibilities with your ex, the best thing to do is to accept shared parenting responsibilities as the most common outcome in modern divorces.

That way, instead of spending time fighting each other, you can work together to start establishing a reasonable parenting plan that focuses on what your kids need, not your disagreements.

Consider mediation or arbitration for unresolved issues

No matter how well-intentioned you both may be, you will inevitably have issues that you simply can’t resolve through direct communication. In some cases, your attorneys may be able to help you find a compromise.

Other times, you may need to bring in an outside professional for help in reaching a compromise. Both arbitration and mediation involve third-party assistance in finding compromises that can help you file an uncontested divorce. Once you have settled the details, your uncontested filing will typically allow for a faster resolution to the end of your marriage.